What's goin on?

Where do i begin... I started blogging a few years ago and decided to remove and delete my entire blog as i felt that it got too anonying when people started judging you for what you write.
I mean, a blog was originally created as means for people to express their feelings and write whatever they want... but most blogs nowadays are just ways to sell things and make money!

Whatever it is, i have decided i want to write again, even if it is just one sentence.. i will write what i feel.. so if you are gonna be offended by what i write.. please leave this page.. i mean it.

I am 29 this December and i must say that i have had my share of ups and downs... from being lonely and insecure to happy and confident, from hating my life to loving it everyday, from feeling like God was never there to knowing He is beside me all the way.

I have always made my life an open book and people can read me easily and sometimes (most of the times, actually) people use that against me.. it hurts but then again, i made my life an open book, so i cant blame them.

I am not an angel and i have hurt a lot of people and i have realized this, early this year. It caused me to lose a lot of loved ones but i am sure that things will get better. 2010 marks a new beginning for me, taking my life to greater heights and learning to say No when its No.

I am not saying that i am evil as well.. i mean, who is perfect? I love my family and friends and i would want to do anything to make them happy. I didnt care if i was hurting inside, as long as they were happy, i would tag along to their demands... then i realised that by doing so, i was making them feel hurt wih me so this year onwards.. if i am not happy to do what they want to do, i wont do it... coz i have to please myself first before i can do anything for them.

I am glad to say i have a few friends who have been by my side thru my ups and downs and i totally love them to bitz for it... I would lay down my life for them..seriously... namely three of them... My two gals who is always there even though we seldom hang out, but we talk almost everyday thru skype, msn or even phonecalls.. even if it is a single shoutout like "Hello" or "Woman".. i know i can count on them no matter what.
And then there this guy who seems to be my soulmate or angel (i dont know what they call it) but he is there for me always whenever i am down... we may not talk to each other for months, but on that day that i am down and feeling sad or lonely, he will call.. and from the tone of my voice, he will know something is wrong... its the same with me.. the moment i see him or hear his voice, i will know if something is wrong.. and we are always able to cheer each other up no matter what.

With all said and done, i know this year is the year of my new life... New beginnings in workplace, with God and with family and friends... I am a different me but still me! Make sense? Hahahaha... I love my new haircut :) ... I love myself, i love my life and everyone around me...

Most of all, i love my Jesus and nothing nor no one can take Him away from me!

Signing off,
Carol